Amitie
by Starbrigid
Summary: A study of the two duelists' motivations in the first duel Utena ever fought the duel called Friendship. There are some coffins you'll never break out of, and some things you'll fight for even though they'll destroy you.


Disclaimer- SKU is not mine. The quotes are from episodes 1 and 9 of it in particular

  
  


A/N- This is a brief, free-verse study of the duel called Amitie, which means Friendship.

(The one in the first episode, the Rose Bride, with Utena and Saionji.) First POV is

Utena's, second is Saionji's.

  
  


Warning- yaoi implications towards the end. If you truly CANNOT deal, please go elsewhere.

Quotes are from episodes 1 and 9, and signaled by pairs of *'s.

  
  


***

  
  


Amitie

by Starbrigid

  
  


***

  
  


How could he?

  
  


How could he be so cruel to her?

  
  


To both of you.

  
  
  
  


*Dear Saionji-*

  
  
  
  


I would take away all he has.

  
  


Because you are also my friend,

  
  


And that is what you deserve.

  
  
  
  


*You must think I'm a fool.*

  
  
  
  


Walking up to a door and opening it

  
  


Eyes widening with a new perception.

  
  


Is this what I meant?

  
  
  
  


When I was a child,

  
  


I surrounded myself with roses.

  
  


He took me out of the roses.

  
  


And so now green rose petals flutter

  
  


In the wind below the castle.

  
  


It's another coffin there

  
  


My flower.

  
  
  
  


I could have died, you know.

  
  


Will you ever know?

  
  


Will you ever smile again?

  
  
  
  


*You smile at me, gently.*

  
  
  
  


What would you think if I told you?

  
  


Would you believe me?

  
  


Do you think this brings me closer to my prince?

  
  


...I'm sorry HE couldn't be YOUR prince.

  
  


Maybe my prince will have a friend he can give to you.

  
  


After all, every prince has a friend, right?

  
  


A friend...

  
  
  
  


And so what if trick swords can be drawn?

  
  


And there's an inverted castle in the sky?

  
  


I'm noble for my prince

  
  


So I know what I believe.

  
  


And I know that I did it for my friend

  
  


My flower-

  
  
  
  


My flower, she says.

  
  


Will we be friends too?

  
  


And the wheels turns

  
  


Like water spreading into the sand.

  
  


Not like a flower.

  
  


Like a leaf in the autumn season, fallen and brown-

  
  
  
  


My dear friend Wakaba.

  
  
  
  


***

  
  
  
  


I... lost.

  
  


To that girl.

  
  


She seemed familiar.

  
  


I wonder why.

  
  


We've never met.

  
  
  
  


*There's no such thing as something eternal.*

  
  
  
  


I lose to YOU all the time.

  
  


Because I hate it

  
  


And I love it.

  
  


Anthy liked to see me lose, too.

  
  


She made it all too clear.

  
  


But I don't lose to little girls.

  
  


Or do I?

  
  
  
  


Swish goes the blade in the air.

  
  


I wish that girl would die.

  
  


I wish you would die.

  
  


I wish Anthy was mine,

  
  


And you were but a memory.

  
  


It's only what I deserve.

  
  
  
  


And then you're here.

  
  


Do you enjoy what I've been reduced to?

  
  


Enjoy flashing your perfection in my face?

  
  


Dammit, I think Anthy was that girl.

  
  
  
  


I wonder why.

  
  
  
  


Perhaps you can help me

  
  


Like you helped her.

  
  


Take me out of my coffin

  
  


Make me a prince who can save her.

  
  


A prince?

  
  


Something... eternal?

  
  


There's something I should be realizing,

  
  


About that Tenjou girl,

  
  


And you, and coffins,

  
  


But for the life of me I can't seem to figure out

  
  


What.

  
  
  
  


I can feel that you want me.

  
  


I can smell it on you.

  
  


You like to roll in the mud sometimes.

  
  


Something that girl who looks like Kaoru said once.

  
  


Don't you know, Saionji?

  
  


When the whole world around you's dirty,

  
  


You can't help but become dirty yourself, right?

  
  
  
  


NO.

  
  


Never.

  
  


Never again.

  
  


I'LL save her, not YOU.

  
  
  
  


Really?

  
  


Do I... really believe that?

  
  


When you reach for me,

  
  


I don't stop you.

  
  
  
  


*There's no such thing...*

  
  
  
  


So I'll do what you want me to in the end.

  
  


Does it matter?

  
  


That's what I've always done.

  
  
  
  


*No such thing as...*

  
  
  
  


Whatever you want of me, I'll give.

  
  


If only for a crumb.

  
  


Whatever you need me to do, I'll do.

  
  


You wanted me to lose

  
  


So I lost.

  
  


For just a touch,

  
  


A bit of hope,

  
  


That I can save her after all.

  
  


Whatever you need me to be, I'll be.

  
  


Because maybe I don't want to save her after all.

  
  


Maybe all I've ever wanted is you.

  
  


So you want me to win Anthy back?

  
  


I will.

  
  


After all,

  
  


What are friends for?


End file.
